Long shrift.

All of you who know us are surely aware that I adore Twila. However, when her creative volcano begins to erupt, like when she's blogging, she sometimes takes a loose view of the truth, most often to my detriment. Take, for example, her recent post about our Fashion Trek.

It isn't that she said anything "wrong", she just gave me short shrift. I was active! I didn't wait for women to ask me how they looked, I just told them. One woman, for example, was staring at herself in a mirror, and I volunteered, "That dress is kind of cute, but it makes your ass look like a nuclear submarine." Ha, just joking. I said "butt", not "ass". That's another English thing. For men, "ass" = "butt". For women, "ass" = "man". So I was trying to be correct.

Seriously, though, and this is true, I've now been on two fashion tours, and I was the only one singled out! (I know that I kind of stand out in those groups, but this was sincere.) During the last tour we were in the office (whatever, small, hot room with racks of clothes) of designer Anni Kuan. Women were milling around and trying things on and I was poking through the racks, when I came upon a skirt and thought, "Muah, this is hot!" So I held it up and called Twila, and then I heard, "OH MY GOD! You have a GREAT EYE!" And it was no other than Anni Kuan, herself. She went on about that for a bit while I did my "red lightbulb" imitation. Later she came over to me and told me I really do have a great eye, and that I could be a fashion designer, if I wanted to be.

Not only that, but yesterday we returned to Anni's office and we were remembered! (Part of that, I confess, might have been because Twila left much of her hard-earned fortune there, twice.) As you know, the public is not allowed in the designers' office-thingies, and even the tour groups are barely tolerated. Yesterday, though, they told us that we are welcome at Anni's any time! That *must* have something to do with my eye, because they certainly can surmise by now that Twila has no further resources for them to plunder.

Now *that* is the long shrift of the matter.

Another thing I learned on these tours, especially yesterday, is that "shop 'til you drop" is not figurative, it's literal. I really and truly admire the stamina of women, who apparently can stand and walk and try things on for hours and hours without limit, as long as a credit card is somehow involved. I was totally ready to keel over when our guide finally announced that the tour had come to an end.