A parade experience.

Attending the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade/Extravaganza was one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my entire life. It all started when we hopped out of bed at 05:15 so we could get downtown early to secure a good viewing point. There were four of us getting ready and before long it was, "Hurry! Hurry! We're late!" I rushed to bring the car to the front of the apartment and finally we were off. We arrived at the train station 20 minutes early.

I remembered almost right away that I'd forgotten my iPhone, which contained the book I was reading, diversions for the ride into Manhattan, my camera, and other goodies, but I quickly forgot about that as I sat shivering while awaiting the train. It was 34 degrees and I was wearing only a T-shirt and a light jacket, which are pretty much the only options I have here. My plan for the winter is to be outside as little as possible. Finally the train arrived, surprisingly crowded with people apparently as insane as we. The first and only delight of the morning appeared at Grand Central Terminal in the guise of a hot cup of coffee from Starbucks, but that too eventually proved to be a near-tragic miscalculation.

We emerged from GCT into the gray gloom of the morning and trundled through the crowds to find a suitable viewing place. It really was amazing how many other people were there, especially considering that you can see the entire parade perfectly well on television. We found a place on 6th Avenue where we would have only one row of people in front of us, so we encamped there. It was 6:30. It was only two and a half hours before the start of the parade.

I had steeled myself to Zen through the wait, but I was unprepared for the cold. Shivering, I hopped from foot to foot to try to generate some heat. There was a large grate in the sidewalk just in front of us from which blessedly warm air escaped whenever a subway train passed underneath. Each time one did, I held the bottom of my jacket away from my body, praying for some of the heat to slip inside. My plan became to survive from train to train.

Meanwhile, more people were arriving. Two couples of twenty-somethings appeared behind Twila, who soon began to edge closer and closer to me. One of the guys had turned his back to her, ostensibly to talk to and smooch with his girlfriend, and he was, in a very New Yorker kind of manner, gradually pushing her out of his way. When it became obvious that he wasn't going to stop, I switched places with her and took a firm stance. Unfortunately, I couldn't get my elbow into play with my hand in my pocket.

At about that time, the delightful coffee I'd enjoyed at Starbucks began to give clues that it was ready to move on. Just what I needed. I consoled myself with the idea that at least it wouldn't get worse if I didn't drink any more, a woeful misconception.

Meanwhile, pushing guy was still pushing, so I asked him to stop. I might not have cared if he'd been providing any warmth, but that wasn't the case. He turned to look at me, then turned away and continued his relentless assault on our space. I repositioned my feet to counter his advance, and before long I'd been pushed a couple of feet in front of Twila. I was leaning as hard as I could and he was still pushing, so I shoved back and told him to cut it out, a commotion that at least temporarily relieved the boredom of those around us. After that we kept an uneasy truce.

Finally, finally the parade started. The people in front of us stood up and Twila was able to step up next to me. Marchers, bands, police motorcycles, people on stilts, floats, and giant balloons started to go by, all the thrills and (dare I say it?) chills we'd been waiting for. A lot of the floats carried famous people, although I hadn't heard of most of them. It surely would have been more enjoyable if it had been warmer, and if that coffee hadn't become even more persistent.

Getting rid of the coffee was soon foremost on my mind. Going back to GCT to take care of it seemed possible, until I looked around. There were several rows of people behind us, all crammed together by virtue of having pushed forward as far as they could. I marveled that so many people could provide so little warmth. I knew I could work my way out of that crowd, though getting back in didn't seem a reasonable possibility. No matter, I would have gotten out if I'd had any place to go, but we were surrounded by parade. I had no idea how I'd get back to GCT. I decided I had little option but to tough it out, so I stood there hopping and squeezing, while reflecting on the indignities and humiliations of near-geezerhood.

Twila was finally able to bring a smile to my face, which she published in her post, by saying those sweet words, "Do you think we should leave?"

It was surprising how stiff my legs were after standing and hopping for five and a half hours. I probably looked like someone on stilts as I hobbled as quickly as I could back to GCT. We had to push through crowds and take a roundabout route, but no disaster occurred.

Next year we're going to watch the parade on TV.