A Tip? You're Freakin' Kidding, right?

I have issues with the whole concept of tipping, but that diatribe belongs on a political blog, not here. In practice, I have been strongly influenced by my siblings and Durf who all advocate tipping from the heart. And so I do. But some days my heart is compassionate and generous. Other days it's as black as coal. Allow me to explain.

I recently had occasion to travel to and from JFK via an airport shuttle bus. On the outbound trip, my driver was Mr. No-Nonsense. I approached the bus and our exchange went something like this:

NN: JFK?
TLS: Yes
NN: Ok, this bus. Which airline?
TLS: Virgin America
NN: Ok, Terminal 4. Just one bag?
TLS: yes
NN: Ok, I'll take it. You can board the bus.

When we arrived at JFK, Mr. NN announced the terminals in a loud, clear voice. As we approached terminal four, I dug around in my purse for a few extra dollars to add to the tip I already had ready. In my opinion, the service was perfect. Not unctuous. Not surly. Just business-like, informative and helpful.

On the inbound trip, however, my driver is Mr. Angry Man. I approach what I hope is the correct bus and Angry Man extends his hand palm up. I'm confused, so I ask, "Is this the bus to Grand Central?" Angry Man glares at me and leaves his palm in my face. A stand-off. Finally we move on to some actual conversation:

AM: Ticket?
TLS: I already have one.
AM: Ticket!
TLS: Oh, Ok.
AM: Where you going?
TLS: Uh, Grand Central
AM: Take your suitcase on the bus. I don't have room in cargo.

So I drag my suitcase onto the bus, but I can't stow it because I'm not strong enough to lift it over my head onto the overhead rack. The bus is full, so my suitcase sits in the aisle (instead of on a seat).

Shortly, Angry Man gets on the bus, announces the route and then says, "I have one more thing to say, so everybody LISTEN UP! See this sign?" He points to a sign that says, "Gratuities are at your discretion but much appreciated." Then he says, "Most people don't understand that sign. THIS one is more to the point. So all of you who are wanting me to haul around your heavy bags, think about it." And with that, he flips out a second sign, rips off some tape and slaps the sign to the back of his chair. The sign reads, "Drivers depend on tips." Then he pounds on it a few times to emphasize his point and without another word, throws himself into his seat and starts the bus.

When we arrive at Grand Central, I want to stick around to see what kind of tips he gets, but I have a train to catch.